Sweet, sweet seventeen.

I have finally found a use for my young-looking...nes. Today at the mall, me, Kelsey, Ben, grandma and mom were all... well, at the mall. Anyway, mom went over to this dress shop while the rest of us stayed over looking at a map. I realized I didn't care where we went, so I didn't need to look at a map, so I followed mom. I don't know how she got past the obstacle course of sales people so quickly. She's good. First there was this guy shining shoes, who was trying to get me to buy something that would "work right before my eyes". As I was wondering how any shoe polish could work on rubber and canvas shoes, I pretended I didn't hear him and just said something like "oh, yeah" instead of answering him. Then I just smiled like an idiot at him and continued to walk. One down. Next there was this guy selling phones at one of the kiosks. Before I knew he was there he had already gotten out of me where I am from, or the lack thereof, since we are in the middle of moving. Next he asked me how old I was.
"N- Seventeen." I replied. "Oh, well come talk to me when your eighteen." Wow. With a huge smile, way too big for any normal dodging of a bullet, I continued on my way to the dress barn.

Youngin'

It all started in Utah, at a family reunion. I believe it was Calvin and Noah who couldn't believe that I was about to turn 14. They are my own family.

Fast forward to just a few months ago on my birthday.

Location: Olive Garden

Day: Nineteenth birthday

Dad: "You choose it's your birthday."

Me: "Dad." (scowling)

Waiter: "Really? How old are you?"

Me: "19".

Waiter: "Really?"

Me: "Yep."

Waiter: "I thought you were like 15 or 16. Is she really 19?"

Mom and Dad: "Yes."

This happened a few times. The rest of the time he just kept on looking at me in aw like I was some kind of freak show at a circus.

Now this last week.

Location: Grandma's ward relief society activity.

Day: Umm... yesterday.

Lady: "So, are you on Spring break?"

Me: "No, I'm actually graduated."

Later:

"So how old are you?"

"19"

"Really, I was thinking like 14 or 15."

People keep on telling me I'll be grateful for looking young later in life. I don't think so. How am I gonna get married if people think it's illegal to date me? I'll probably just end up an old cat lady. But all the cats will stay looking like kittens.

Yeah, forgetful like a fox.

Like a fox.

You know when someone says "You're crazy." Then someone else says, "Yeah, crazy like a fox." Wouldn't it be funny if instead of saying that someone was crazy like a fox you just said it about anything. For example: "You're tall!" "Yeah, tall like a fox." See how that works? Pretty sweet huh?

Colbie.

What kind of name if Colbie Caillat anyway? Is that made up? I don't know, all I know is that I can't stand her. If she was a robot, she'd be named Wall-a--- Wall-a Waillat. "Can you count me in?"? Does that even make any sense? If she was asking the instrumental section if she could sing with them, they should have said no.

Bach.

If I ever get a dog, which I won't, I would name him "Bach". People would think it was because I was really classy and think that I named if after the famous composer, but really it would just be because I wanted to say "Come BACH!"



Fat Chance.

When people say "Fat chance", I always think that it doesn't make sense. Wouldn't it be "thin chance". Because fat gives the impression that there is a lot of chance, while thin makes it sound like there isn't much chance. Unless it's just sarcasm... which it usually is.

Pop-ups.

There are pop ups are everywhere. They have even started to infiltrate youtube. I mean the actual little window that you are watching the video in. Honestly? If I go to youtube, it's usually to watch a video, and most likely I'm going to click out of the pop-up if there is one. It's just annoying, and then you ignore it anyway. Then on TV, have you seen the one's that take up like half the screen? I can't believe it. This post deserves an exclamation point. -- !

Moving.


As you may know I'm moving. To where, and when, the world may never know. Or you could just ask, but seeing as this is an open blog, I'm not going to be handing that information out like the neighbors parents hand out popsicles on a hot summer day.


Clean rooms.


Does it creep anyone else out when a hotel's sign says "clean rooms", or a gas station sign says "clean bathrooms. It's kind of like they're extra proud of that or something. I'm sorry, but I don't think that's something to be advertising. It's kind of like saying, "We just cleaned our bathrooms, so come quick before they get nasty again." Or like the attendant there is being forced to clean the bathroom all the time, so to get back at them they are only cleaning it so it looks clean, when really it's crawling with.... something really gross. And the only way I'll ever believe a hotel room is really clean is if I see them wiping the entire room down, which would all be tiled, and see the mattress and sheets brought in on a Sears truck.
Peeps.

This is is where I talk about my peeps... which happen to be rabbit shaped and coated in pink sugar. In the last 20 minutes I have eaten an entire package of peeps.... almost. I actually have two left. I feel sick. Not only my stomach, but I'm getting a sugar headache now too. They are just so good, and they just smoosh down so it's like they're not even there. But then you get sick and realize they were there. And the evidence is on your lips when you go to look in the mirror and your lips are pink. Which is actually kind of cool. It's like wearing lipstick without actually wearing lipstick. Cool huh?

Oh cool, I finally figured out the volume on this computer.




Charger.
So, we got to Seattle, or thereabouts, and I realized I didn't have my phone charger. Well my phone was already dead by the time I got there, so I just used my mom's phone. I had to go through a lot... well more trouble than usual getting some phone numbers, by way of Elizabeth, instead of just having them in my phone book. Anyway, after an entire week of having no phone and using my mom's phone for texting, which she doesn't have on her plan (I think I owe her a few bucks), I found my charger in the front of my suitcase. Now, when I actually use it again is a different story. I'm not really sure where my phone is right now.

I reallly did forgot my ipod charger in Colorado. So, for an entire flight, I did not have my ipod. I am very disappointed. The most annoying thing is that Hannah has one, and we stayed with them for a week and I still didn't charge it because I kept on forgetting to ask to borrow it. So now I have to beg Kelsey and Ben to PLEASE bring yours for my final flight... forever... or until this summer at least. Consider this me asking you guys, because I know I'll forget. Just like I forgot my...


Toothbrush.

Four times actually. I still can't believe it. Trust me, if you ever want to see your toothbrush again, don't entrust it to me. I left one in the hotel back home, 2 at Kelsey and Ben's house, and one at Pattie and Brian's house. Luckily I had a spare one, that I didn't want to use because it had been in a bag with makeup and stuff. But desperate times call for desperate measures, along with hot water and soap.

Well... seeya.

At Last...

First, I figured that was a good title, since, first I am listening to that song, and secondly, it's been quite some time.

Baby steps= nonexistent.

There are no such things as baby steps. I mean if you think about it, toddlers are the ones that learn to walk, not babies.

"Toddler is a common term for a young child who is learning to walk." There you have it, straight from the world's most reliable fact source- Wikipedia. So in conclusion... umm... there's no such thing. And I'm not dissing you Elizabeth, but I did have some time to think it over right after you sent me that one text. Thanks, p.s.

Dream brush.

For my birthday mom and dad got me this brush, well not this brush, but a brush. Oh my, it runs through my hair like a hot knife through butter. It's big and rectangle and has some kind of ceramic somewhere in it, or at least that's what the label said. It's niiiiice.

Changed my life.





I was watching a show the other night, "Platinum Weddings" ($215,000 for a bracelet. Whaaat?) Anyway, this commercial was about some fancy makeup that is like super perfect. One lady said it "changed my life"... "honestly". Anyway, I thought that was silly, then I thought, maybe the silly thing is not that it changed her life, but that that's all that it did. I mean anything can change your life. Let me elaborate- I didn't curl my hair this morning. I decided to pull it back in a ponytail instead. Now, this could turn into many scenarios, but I'll just go with the one I think will most "change my life". Now, understand that it is a low ponytail, and as everyone knows, if you lay your head down on a low ponytail, it eventually starts to hurt. So, if I decide to take a nap this afternoon (because I stayed up way too late last night), I would probably take my hair out. Here's where it gets complicated. I could a.) put the rubber band in my pocket, b.) put it on my wrist, or c.) put it on the ground. Now, follow along, this could get out of control.


a.) If I put it in my pocket, I'd probably forget it was there, and while I was frantically looking for it, I'd make me and my mom late to the class tonight, causing us to get a bad parking spot, then being kidnapped on the way back out to the car after the class because we were so far out. Now, I'll stop there, do with that scenario what you will. I imagine a ransom and whole lot of shooting.


b.) The rubber band would cut of my circulation in my wrist and then my hand would turn against me and try to kill me, concluding with me ending up with one hand.


c.) I would lean down to pick up the rubber band when I awoke, then when I was coming back up from the lean down, I'd hit the back of my head on the bottom of the table. Then as I awoke again from my forced nap, I'd realize that I didn't know where I was and who the people were around me, now whether that is because I had amnesia, or was on a stretcher with a whole bunch of unknown paramedics around me, I don't know. Do with that what you will.


Here are my options to avoid such unpleasantness. I could not take a nap, I could take out my hair now (but then I'd had a huge rubber band crease, and who knows what trouble that would cause), or I could just take a nap somewhere far away from a table.





And all this because of the makeup I decided to use- I mean the decision to put my hair in a ponytail.

Inappropriate texting.

I rarely get seriously angry... out loud. OK, hardly ever, but I get angry on the inside. So, we go to happy fun night, you all know this, I've talked about it before quite a lot. It's fun, but the one thing I can't stand is when there are people, mostly girls, on the court with their cell phones out, texting while the game is in play. I can hardly contain myself. I can't use the word irate yet, that will come a little later.





This is a shoe stomping on a texting person's hands.

Smelly hands.

The other day, while reading or something. Actually I was probably at the computer. Anyway, I brought my hands to my face and was repulsed when I thought they smelled like cat food. I don't even own a cat, and avoid touching animals at all costs in general. You may wonder then, "why do you have a bottle of soy sauce on this post?" Well I'll tell you. A lot of times my hands will smell like soy sauce. I don't know if it's just me or what, but I encourage all of you to smell your hands every once in a while, to see what they smell like. I'm sure I'm not the only freak.











Psych.

Three words- funniest show ever. I mean seriously, I've never watched a more witty and hilarious show. I highly recommend it.

Poison.

Wouldn't it make life so much easier if poison drew on the food it was poisoning a skull and crossbones. I don't know why poison manufacturers don't think of that. If any are reading this blog now, feel free to run with it.

Panda Express.

This one time in Utah, me and some of my siblings were deciding where to go for dinner. Kelsey said something about eating "Panda". So, thinking I was being funny said something to the effect of "I don't feel right eating panda." No one got it.


These are the owners of Panda Express apparently. Do you know how hard it is to find a simple picture of the front of a panda express?

Color.


Someone asked me the other day what color I am. OK, that's a lie, no one asked me... unless you count me. Anyway, I saw on Elizabeth's blog this color test and wanted to try it so I did. Apparently I'm a white. And here's what it says about them.

WHITE (Motive: PEACE)—These are the peacekeepers. Peace: the ability to stay calm and balanced even in the midst of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, and good-listeners.

Now, I'm not saying I'm a saint or anything, but if the color fits. (That was so a joke, whites aren't that vain. And besides, I'm only 51% white.)



Irate.


Remember how I said I was going to use the word "irate"? Well here it comes, you should probably be sitting down. When me and mom were driving to Deon's house one day, there was this kid walking from the bus stop- in the middle of the street. As we drove closer to him he started walking further into the middle, then as we drove to the left side of the street, he walked further left, clearly trying to make us mad. Well it worked. I was irate. LIVID. You have no idea how angry I was. Fortunately for him mom was driving, so I couldn't run him over. I kept yelling "HONK AT HIM!", but she wouldn't. She must be more white than I am... at least 52%. The sad thing is, that when we got to Deon's house and told her, she asked if we wanted Dillan to get his gun and go out there. While mom and Deon laughed, I considered. Though with Dillan's broken ankle it probably wouldn't have happened anyway.

Oh, sweet justice.

Northanger Abbey.

I have never read a Jane Austen book, and though it shames me, I still don't think I will for a while. Anyway, I did watch Northanger Abbey the other night on PBS. It is fantastic. Everyone I talked to said they didn't like it as much as the others, but I beg to differ. It's way more exciting, and there is no big understanding that doesn't get resolved until the end. That always annoys me. It did have the classic Jane Austen crazy family members, and scandals though. Plus the main character's name is Catherine. So if I find a guy named Henry, with a sister named Eleanor, and a father who hates my guts, we can basically skip all the dating and just get married.

Fish and bowling.

Dad was asking us what we would want in a house if he were to build one. I said... well a lot of stuff, which included a bowling alley and an aquarium. Then I had an epiphany. An aquarium/bowling alley, and it went from a freakishly cool basement idea, to a multi-million dollar business idea. Can you imagine how cool it would be to be bowling, and all of the sudden, a whale shark swims under your 80's style bowling shoes? SWEET!

It would look like this, except better, and under all the lanes.
So, as I thought this over, I was thinking of names. At first I thought "Aquaribowl" would sound pretty cool, but then it came to me- "Fish Bowl". It's perfect. I'm going to be a millionaire before I'm old enough to... oh wait, I can already vote.

Random stuff.

I had no idea Wikipedia had a real home page. I don't know, I just always thought it went to that one "pick a country" page, so imagine my surprise when I found out that they even have a picture of the day. So I present to you this... times edition of "random stuff".

A ca. 1890–1900 photochrom of St. Alexander's Church (Kościół św. Aleksandra in Polish), a Roman Catholic church in Warsaw, Poland, before its destruction in World War II. After the war it was rebuilt on a smaller scale.

Is that it? Why yes, yes it it.

Tonight we we flipping through channels, and found "Some Like It Hot" was on. It's about two men who are running away from some mobsters, and decide to dress like girls and join a girl's band. Well, it all goes along, and it's hilarious, but at the same time, I think it should just be called, "Some like it AWKWARD."

Does it bug anyone else that in commercials, they always throw the whole strawberry stem and all into the chocolate? It drives me crazy. Who wants to bite into a luscious chocolaty strawberry and get stem in their mouth. You might as well just give them the chocolate covered stem, cause that's all they're gonna remember!

I get most of my blog ideas in the shower. I guess that's why I take long showers. Oh wait, no there's something else, I can't quite put my finger on it. Oh yeah, I have OCD about germs. That's it, I guess I don't think about it enough to remember. YEAH RIGHT!

I was thinking the other day about why they called it "gum". This is my theory: It started out as a Halloween candy, making kids think they were chewing gums. That's just gross, but as time went on, people forgot what they were supposed to be chewing because of the delectable new flavors. So the candy people wanted to bring back the Halloween feel to gum and that's why we have nasty gummy worms and junk. Wait, that doesn't make sense.

Does anyone else think that Storm and Jean Grey would be upset that they are called X-men? I don't either. Anyway, I was thinking that if I had a power, it would be Jean Greys, or Kitty Pride's. Or maybe Wolverine. Or maybe Storm. Or maybe the ice or fire guy's. Or maybe like the blue guy, just not the actual blue, cause that's creepy. I don't' really know what they're all whining about, about being different and stuff. Oh boo hoo. You could crush mankind if you wanted! I guess it's a good thing I'm not an X man.

Speaking of the X men... and Demi Lovato, does anyone think she and Rogue look spectacularly similar. So, these are probably not the best pictures to compare, but just think about it. It's almost uncanny.

Speaking of the Jonas Brothers, no wait, I was talking about Demi Lovato, but you might as well be talking about Disney Channel in general. Anyway, the other night I had a dream that I was hanging out with the Jonas Brothers. It was awesome. Me and Joe were like this (Imagine my fingers crossed). Kevin was a little on the shy side, and Nick was being a primadona. I think he was just upset about being away from Selena Gomez. That's just the feeling I got, but he warmed up to me. So basically what I'm trying to say is that when their show gets aired, I'm definitely going to be the first, along with a million others, to watch it.

Speaking of... hot stuff(?) There's this toothpaste that's called "Crest Ultra Whitening". I don't suggest it to anyone. Especially someone who doesn't like open wounds in their mouth. Geesh, it should be called "Crest Ultra Burning". Yikes, it hurts. Don't worry, this isn't an actual picture of the so called "toothpaste". That would be far too offensive to put on my blog, and apparently it was for Wikipedia too.

Footloose. Need I say more? OK I will. Remember in the song when he says "Everybody Cut"? Well, after a lot of thought, I've figured it out. He means to say "Everybody cut my sandwich. Remember how the intro is super long? That can only mean that he was making a sandwich, and as I said before, a very long intro, means a very long sandwich, clearly indicating that he needed everyone to help cut the sandwich. Now, what was put on the sandwich, and whether he planned to share is still under speculation.

Or he could mean, "everybody cut a rug". Like dancing. But I think that's a little too far fetched, even for him.

Have you heard? There is going to be another footloose, or should I say remake of the original. 4 words, or 2 names, whichever you like, Zac Efron and Kenny Ortega. Now, I don't need to explain who Zac Efron is, but if you don't know, Kenny Ortega directed all three High School Musicals. If that doesn't scream "BEST MOVIE EVER!" I don't know what does.

Elizabeth thought this movie was too long. I thought it was just right. I want to learn how to ride a horse just because of this movie. I also want to marry someone who looks like Hugh Jackman, which is probably more likely than me getting the guts to get on a horse. I can't go three steps up on a ladder without going into panic mode.

You know in all of those previews and movies, where the main character looks across the street, and sees someone unexpected for a split second before the bus comes and drives past, then the person disappears? I think it would be hilarious if the bus was about to drive past, but the person disappeared before it even got there.

If real estate agents sell real estate, then who sells fake estate? I guess it would be a faketor, pronounced fake-a-tor. It sounds like some villain in a comic book. "I am Faketor! I will sell you nonexistent real estate at unreasonable prices!" He might catch on, but I wouldn't make an action figure just yet.

As Promised, my random section. I'm starting off strong with two random thoughts.

I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it was really cute. They're cupcakes. How cool is that? I'll tell you, very.

This is Edwards car. Did it bug anyone else that in the movie he had some wimpy hatchback? I mean come on, that car should belong to a Barbie Girl, not a freakishly cool vampire.

I Scream, You Scream.

Nintendo DS.

I really want a Nintendo DS. A pink one. And I would get Mario Kart first. Oh, that would be so cool.

I Scream.

Know what would be hilarious? If instead of asking for ice cream, you just started screaming bloody murder. Then after the other people in the room had practically wet their pants with fear, you just say that you thought that it was easier than asking someone to get you ice cream. Now that would be funny.

Hallmark Christmas Movies.

Have you noticed that you could basically put any word behind the word "Christmas" and it's a Hallmark movie? "The Christmas Choir", "The Christmas Card", "The Christmas Wish", The Christmas Teapot". OK, I'll admit, that last one I made up. Have you also noticed that they all have a very close plot line? I really think that the same person writes all of the scripts.

Injustice.

My children will not watch "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". The other reindeer are so petty and mean. Even his father is ashamed of him. Then there's Santa, who is just a disgrace. It's one thing to be mean and then to apologize, but they didn't even do that, they just figured that they needed him and then expected him to comply. Well boo on that. I mean come on, if I was Rudolph, I would have just let Christmas be cancelled, and let them know how it feels. All of them are jerks. I hate them all.

Old, crappy movie.

When I was in the hospital I had a TV in my room, and after I had the IV stuck into my hand, I was able to get the full effect of the 1950's sci-fi movie I was watching. Nothing else was on, believe me, or I would have changed it. It was black and white, and about a spaceman who came to earth in his paper-plate space-ship. It was thoroughly silly. When he came out of his ship the first time he vaporized the guards with his non-existent eyes.

Then, when he was carrying the girl, you could actually see the thick black chords holding her up. They didn't even try to disguise them. It was like this:

Car and Shoes:

Have you seen that car commercial where the lady is just driving along and the shoes start falling from the sky? Does it bug anyone else that she’s grabbing a bunch of shoes that don’t match? I mean, unless you have a bunch of crappy craft projects that you have plans for I don’t get what there was to get excited about. But hey, it would make a good story to tell your insurance agent when your trying to get the money to get the dents and scratches buffed out of your hood.

Heaven.

I think Heaven would be just like Disneyland. If it was heaven though, there wouldn't be any lines and the food wouldn't add up to the price of a television set. Maybe just a stereo. I don't want to say it would be free because that's just too unrealistic.

Be careful what you blog for.

Remember when I wrote about never getting sick unless it was a holiday? Yeah, add Thanksgiving and Christmas to my list. Geesh, I think this blog is cursed. I've been sick in some form or another since I wrote that, and let me tell you, it's not pleasant when you've got big plans. BIG PLANS. OK, maybe just little plans, but you catch my drift.

Random Stuff.

And finally, I don't usually make New Years Resolutions, but I am making one this year. I've decided to include a new segment in my blog called "Random Stuff". I think it would be a refreshing new twist on my current blog, which is so relevant.