Too little too late.

Note.

Have you ever woken up and had a note taped to you that said if you stepped out of line again, you and everyone you cared about would be dead? Well that's a relief. I would probably stop

associating with you. Just kidding. I would definitely not associate with you anymore. I'm already paranoid as it is. I don't need some unknown mobster coming after me too. Especially if you didn't know what you did to step out of line. That would be extra risky because you might be killed at any time.

Welcome to my mind. There is no turning back.

Owl City.

Just to let you know, Owl City is now my favorite-

band/person. It's only one person, but it sounds like a band. I decided this recently. Not the band/person part, the part about it/him being my favorite. Firstly because I put the CD in my CD player the other day, and I can't stop singing to songs all the time, and I love all of the songs. I rarely skip songs. Mostly I just go back and listen a second time. Secondly, Adam Young, who is Owl City, seems like the most genuine person ever. I am a fan of him on Facebook. I was supposed to be writing a paper yesterday, so of course I went on Facebook. There it led me to his blog. He is so devoted to God and seems to have so many good qualities. I guess every time I look up a celebrity, I get disappointed in what I find out, but I like him even more now. It was refreshing to find out that there is someone so famous and using it for good- and not putting on a big show... except for his big shows that he puts on- but that's different.

Oh, and p.s. if you want to hear a really beautiful song go to owlcityblog.com and go down to "My Hope is Found".

Littering.

Seriously. Put it in the garbage. I was pulling into the mall today and I saw a lady just drop a piece of crumpled paper on the asphalt. It wasn't an accident, I could tell because she was looking around to see if anyone saw. To everyone who litters: "I SEE YOU".

Gum.I bought gum the other day... again. I buy a lot of gum. I could probably buy a pony with the amount of money I spend on gum. You'd think I was just coming off the patch. Anyway, it was strawberry shortcake gum. I don't taste the shortcake. I mean, I taste the strawberry, and maybe I could go as far as saying I taste the whipped cream, though that's not required, after all, it isn't even in the title. But I don't taste the shortcake. Then I got some mint chocolate chip gum. It smells like mint chocolate chip ice cream. Really. But it just tastes like super sweet mint gum. Oh well, I guess it will just have to go into the glove compartment with the others.

Paranoid.

~~~~~~~~~~~

(That's supposed to make an eerie sound)

Apparently I have been using the word paranoid in the wrong way. I knew that a long time ago... like when I was ten, but I just used it because it was easier to say than "I have anxiety concerning..." but my dad corrected me the other day and, since I'm such a stickler for proper grammar ("It's 'I love you too', not 'i <3 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Heeby jeeby. That was creepier than I meant it to be. Don't worry, I'm not psycho. But, that is was a psycho would say.

Oakley guy.

The Oakley guy was at my work yesterday. He comes and checks out all the glasses to see which ones are selling and see which we need more of. He comes and goes through the glasses, I can tell when he's done because he moves along the case while he looks. Then he types on his computer forever, asks me to take out a few glasses that he predicts won't sell and I put them back in their boxes to send back. And then he just stays, on his computer, while I stand awkwardly behind the desk, trying to look busy, but really I'm writing things like "Why is he still here?" on pieces of receipt paper. It's super awkward saying "No problem." after he thanks me a third time for letting him come, when in my head I'm thinking, "I just stood here while you typed stuff. What are you thanking me for?"

Interesting people.

There are a lot of interesting people at the mall. I have to say my favorite was a guy who came up to the counter where I work sometime before Halloween, and, with a slurred British accent, says there used to be a place that sold colored contacts down the hall, but doesn't anymore. "Oh. Ha ha." What do you want me to do about it?- I didn't say. Ummm. This is a sunglasses place. We don't even sell regular glasses. Maybe he thought we sold sun-contacts? I told him I thought there was a costume shop down another hall that had them, to which he replied "FenTasstic! Bless ya 'eart." It was awesome. Not only did I get to talk to a British guy, but a drunk British guy. I basically got to talk to Eliza Doolittle's father. How many people get to say they've done that? Which, by the way, is exactly what I'm going to tell people.

People

Speaking of people, I think may have figured out why it takes me so long to make friends. Every time we moved, which was many a time, I thought "This is it, I'm gonna start being outgoing." It never happened. Then I started my classes at college, and finally I did it. I spoke up the first day in class. I was good too, if I do say so myself. I mean, I could probably have even been mistaken for a popular kid in high school. Then something happened- nothing. As in, it didn't happen again. I turned back into a wimp. But, as I said, I don't think I'm a wimp for the sake of being wimpy. I don't like people I don't know. This makes it very difficult to get to know people and begin to like them. Don't worry, I like all of you. If I didn't, well that would be awkward, besides, I wouldn't have invited you to read my blog if I didn't like you. There are very few people I get along with immediately. Andrew, my friend from the library is one of them. I think it's because we skipped the small talk. I hate small talk with a passion that rivals... someone with a lot of passion. Point is, I'm going to say I'm fine no matter how many times you ask how I am. Even if I'm having a really cruddy day. I don't tell people I don't know what's going on in my life. I'm going to say I like Texas even if I don't. What am I supposed to say? I hate the town you grew up in. Washington is way better? No. (This doesn't mean I don't like Texas, though Washington is way better.) Anyway. That's my rant on small talk. I'll ask another customer, or someone from my ward how they are doing tomorrow, and the vicious cycle will start over again. "How are you?" "Fine. How are you?" "Good. What have you been up to?" "Nothing much... school, work, you know." "Yeah? Me too." -awkward laugh- pause. "Well... I guess I'll see you later." Some things never change. Small talk will never be big and big talk will never be... defined.

It's late.

Flappy.

Justin Bieber. Or as some refer to him: JB (but we all know, that really means Jonas Brothers). First off, I could probably never get the name right unless I had it right there staring me in the face. Secondly, how did he come to be? Seriously, he sprung up overnight. Not last night, or the night before, it's been a while. Not the point. I've never seen anything like it, except for the next topic, but again, I digress. One morning, last school year, me and mom were walking in the mall, and I saw a shirt that said "Leave it to Bieber". I had no idea what it was talking about. Then all of the sudden, I saw him everywhere. This is my proof that he is responsible for, not only overly-dramatic 13 year old heartbreak, but also Silly Bandz.

Now, we all know how I feel about putting a "z" at the end of words, so my hatred for these extremely overpriced pieces of rubber is even more increased. Half the stores I walk past say "Silly Bandz Sold Here". I'm pretty sure that when they were naming these, a 3 year old was in the room, so they couldn't say what they really wanted to say, which was stupid. As in "Stupid Bandz". Also, the three year old was the one recording minutes, so a "z" was put on the end of the word by accident. Then as they discussed price, instead of putting $00.49, the 3 year old put $4.99.
I hope people realize that when these poorly shaped plastic animal bracelets are actually put on, they just look like rubber bands.

Laptop.

I got a new laptop. It is so cool. Does this mean more blog posts? Maybe. Does this mean more watching netflix movies online? Definitely.

Is it red? Yes. Does it start every time? Yes. Is it fast? Yes. Does it fly? No. But if it did, I'd call it "Flappy".

Well, well, well, here we are again.

Can-Michael-da.

I would like to preface this post by saying that I now realize that Michael Buble is actually from Canada. But at least we have the Jonas Brothers. And the Beatles. Har har har.

A while.

I know it's been a while, and though I have been slacking, I hope some of this post will make up for the tardiness. I got a job, that's part of the reason I'm late. A very small part, but still. It's a crappy job, so... that should count for something right? I basically sit in a booth for hours on end, waiting for someone to come up to the counter and say, "How much are those sunglasses?" watch as their eyes get wide and then say "Well I might come back." They never come back.

HOLY COW! I just realized our keyboard is wireless! I'm not even close to the desk now and still, I'm typing. Amazing. How long have we had this computer? I'm pretty sure it's been close to seven months. Apparently I'm not very observant. Is this just blowing anybody else's mind?Speaking of things blowing up, or just getting all lightening-ee...

Death by lightening-shower.

A couple weeks ago, I was about the take a shower. It was lightening outside. Also, the shower plug was all clogged up with like grout and junk from re-grouting around the tub. So the tub would fill up like 6 inches after only a few minutes. Anyway, as I was getting in the shower I thought "What if the lightening somehow gets through the roof and hits me. I'll be dead." Part of my reasoning to the next part comes from being told that when you're standing in water while being electrocuted you haven't got a chance because the electrical current goes through you and water doesn't let it pass through, so you're toast. Anyway, since I was standing in six inches of water and could hear the thunder outside, I decided that the only thing to do was stand on one leg. That way the current would go through me and, of course, turn down the leg that was bent up. It took me quite a while to take a shower that night. And in case you were wondering, no lightening came through the roof and hit me, but at least I was safe. I kept on thinking "This is ridiculous." But then I would hear some particularly loud thunder and would jump back to one leg. Good workout though.

Oh, one more thing I'm paranoid about: I always tie my floss into knots at night so that I don't find the pieces at night while I'm asleep and strangle myself. And of course I can't just pull more floss out in my sleep to use.

Why psychology?

I am going to be a psychologist. Now if only I could bypass all of that schooling. I'm not really into school. But I think it would be cool to figure out what goes on in the human mind, but mostly I want to learn--

Hypnotism. Seriously. No really, stop laughing. I would like to see if hypnotism actually works at bringing back memories and stuff. And no, it has nothing to do with calling on the devil or anything like that.

Idiot with an umbrella.

I have started taking a class at the college. It's sociology. Assignment 1: Break the rules of society. After many unhelpful suggestions, including speaking in different accents that are clearly not mine, and getting angry at innocent clerks, and some made by Ben that I won't even mention, I have decided on walking in the mall with an umbrella. It's embarrassing enough without being totally embarrassing. I am pretty sure I'll get funny looks, but mostly I'm worried that a security guard is going to think I'm crazy and kick me out. Oh well, that's a pretty big reaction I can write about.

Inception is... cool.

I have seen Inception 3 times now. The last time was in the IMAX. Cool. probably not 5 extra dollars cool, but still, it's all about saying you did it right? It is such an awesome movie. It's exciting and funny and... OK, I'm obviously not very eloquent when it comes to having a whole bunch of words that just mean "really cool", but you get the point. So awesome. And Joseph Gordon Levitt, who plays Arthur, he's like double cool. Just think of an English guy without the accent. He is sophisticated without being stiff. That's how I see it. Funny without being goofy. He is all the good qualities in an actor all wrapped up into one.

BFF.

Speaking of cool actors. I seriously want to be the Jonas Brothers best friend. Seriously. I even titled this picture "my best friends". They are funny, and seem genuinely nice. I love their show. It is hilarious. Oh man. Funny, funny.

Coffee.

Whenever I go to work, I have to drive past a coffee shop. The name of this shop rhymes with Guitarbucks. It is so annoying. And, p.s., do people really need coffee at 9:30 at night? Anyway, whenever I drive past, someone is doing something stupid, like not stopping a stop sign, or stopping where there is no stop sign or pulling out really fast in front of you, even though there are no cars behind you, and they could be less annoying if they waited 3 seconds. I think that maybe Starbucks makes people obnoxious. Actually I have to admit, I have actually only had people do stupid stuff outside of Starbucks a couple of times. I just hate having to wait for them to pull into it's parking lot. And I'm also blaming them for all the stupid stuff other drivers do. I hate bad drivers. Though, I have done my fair share of dumb stuff. But I do safe dumb stuff, like wait to long to turn right, and just have to wait for more cars to pass. I have also stopped at a green light a few times. People driving behind me must hate my guts.

Manila evil-ope.

So, I have a job. Lame job. Worse than lame. The worst job ever, besides like, a hit man. But pretty soon I might be a hit man-- hired by myself. I can't stand my manager, or the owners of this good for nothing sunglasses kiosk. I could tell you everything they have done, but I'll just summarize. My manager asks me every other day that I work to stay longer (usually about 6 hours longer) because he doesn't think he can get there in time. Or maybe just because he is tired and I quote "had a long day". Oh, and sitting in the middle of the mall for hours is just a ball of fun for me. Anyway, it was one of these days, that he had asked me to stay longer, and some other things happened, like he kept changing the schedule, etc. , that I found the envelope.

There is a manila envelope under the counter that we put our end-of-the-day reports in. The week before, as I was putting a report in, the little metal prong fell off of the clasp. That happens sometimes when you bend them a lot. It's not meant to be handled that often. It was like 2 and a half weeks after we had started using that envelope. Anyway, a few days later when we had to send the reports in, I find that we have a new envelope. Under the little metal clasp was written "Please try not to break". As I said, this was one of those days that he was especially getting on my nerves. I was LIVID. What does he think I do all day, sit there and wiggle the clasp until it breaks? I was so mad. About a week later, when I was closing the shop again, I put the report into the envelope, and seeing the hand-written message again, I took the clasps and bent them back and forth until I was sure that the next time someone bent them, they would break. Just as I planned, the next day, I found the envelope prong-less, sitting under the counter. One small prank for Catherine, one giant prank for Catherinekind.

In memorium of night.

Daylight savings.

Daylight savings time started last week. Boo. We now see a whole lot less of the night time. I like the night time. If I had a choice, I would be nocturnal. As of right now, I'm just tired a lot.

The Princess and the Frog review.

Started it, watched it, loved it, wanted to be part of it. This movie is the awesome-est cartoon ever. It is so funny. I was just smiling the whole time. The music is awesome, and there are no boring parts like in most Disney movies. They always have to have some boring part that ties the story together, but isn't all that interesting. This one doesn't. It is awesome. Watch it, love it, crave it.

Soy sauce.

Sometimes my hands smell. Sometimes they smell like soy sauce, sometimes Mexican food. And once in a blue moon, they smell like peanut butter.

Ummmm...

I actually don't know why I put this on here. Maybe it has something to do with wanting a man.

Crunchy things.

Why is it that crunchy things always come in crunchy bags? Potato chips, any chips, pretzels, crackers, even biscotti comes in little crunchy packaging. Think of something crunchy and it's in a crunchy bag. It's annoying. It's like "I'm eating something bad for me, let's publicize it." It's bad enough that you're eating something loud and crunchy, but at least they should let you get it out silently, and then go somewhere where not everyone is going to hear it. It's outrageous. I think we should protest. Store-bought cookies. Lettuce. Oh wait, that's not bad for you. Popcorn. Not horrible...

Point of being sick.

Last week I wasn't feeling so hot. I was feeling like crud actually. You know what I hate? When you feel crumby, but not actually bad enough to stay home from anything. That's the worst. I would take really sick over kinda sick any day. I like having sick days every once in a while, but I don't want to have to feel guilty all day acting sick when I know I could do stuff. What's the point of being sick if you can't even stay home to enjoy it?

Engaged boys.

If you are engaged and going to a singles ward, think again. If I happen to be in that ward I may just maul you. I can't stand it. It seems the only funny, handsome, or just normal guys are all engaged in my ward I am not happy. There are 2 to 1 boys to girls already. Do they really have to rub it in that they are not going to be there for long? Isn't this a beautiful vintage ring?

Paper weight.

While I was looking for the above said ring, I also found this rock in Google Images. As I saw it I thought "Holy Cow! That's like a paper weight!" Then, clicking on it, I realized, it was a paper weight. Funny how things work out.

Slip, jerk.

A few weeks ago during church I was super tired. I had put the desk up on the chair I was sitting in, which happens to be a lot like the one above, and then I laid my forehead in my hand and my elbow on the desk. Next thing I know my elbow is slipping off of the desk, and I am jerking my head back up in shock. Of course, this has to be a Sunday when people actually decide to sit by me. That hasn't been a problem since. Just kidding.

Devil= jerk.

The Devil is a jerk. He's way worse than those jerks with obnoxiously loud motorcycles, or really stupid neighbors. We don't have stupid neighbors, though ours do have a pool. I hate them.

Cereal! Cereal is crunchy too.

Classy cuff links.

Sometimes I write things down to remember to write them on my blog. Sometimes it ends up coherent. Sometimes not. For instance, I could write something down, then two weeks later, have no idea what I meant by it in the first place. Take this, for example: "Disneyland- day? Try weeks. Boo.", "Classy cuff links.", "Ear tongue, bump, yuck.", or "Grumble, runny, church."

(I can't figure out how to get rid of the underlining on the segments below. My apologies.)

A-Michael-ica.

Other countries may have cool accents, huge towers, a written history, immense rain forests, awesome scenery, castles and double-decker buses, but we have Michael Buble. Oh and a few of the other things too, but no-one comes to the U.S. for that stuff. They do come for Michael Buble. Which is a good enough reason to go anywhere.

Mosquito Prints.

I helped Kelsey paint her new house's play room last week. As I was painting, while Kelsey was cleaning out the roller... for an hour, I saw a mosquito flying around, landing on the freshly painted walls from time to time. Now, I was very tired, it was late. Watching this annoying bug flying around and landing I thought to myself, "Oh man. Now I'm gonna have to paint over those mosquito footprints."

Genius idea...s.

On this same night of deep thinking, I realized how convenient it would have been if we didn't have to worry about the carpet while painting. So I thought of this- disposable carpet. I explained it all to Kelsey. It would be installed as regular carpet, but it would actually be a hundred supper thin sheets of carpet. Then when you had to paint, you could just peel it up afterwards and not have to worry about annoying plastic drop cloths. Expecting company? Running out of time? Don't worry about hefting that bulky vacuum up the stairs, just peel up the carpet and ta da! Brand- spankin' new carpet. That's gonna be on my commercial, along with a visual of an old woman carrying a huge 40 year old vacuum up some narrow spiral stairs. The new phrase will be "They're selling like disposable carpets!" No one will even remember what hot cakes are.

Magic potion.

After I thought of disposable carpet, I thought, "How about just making some magic potion." Then you wouldn't have to worry about stains and stuff. I'll probably market that after the carpet, just so that I can get as much money as possible. Oh, and I take pride in the pictures I take... from the Internet, and this has got to be one of my favorites.

Face plant.

(Clever picture huh? Made it myself.)

Last night at FHE we played 3-legged dodge ball. I know where this is going in your mind, and you'd be right, but it was worse than that still. We played 4 or 5 rounds of dodge ball with our leg tied to someone else's and first off the guy I was tied to, who happened to be extremely handsome was either really shy, or else it was just me who made him uncomfortable. Every time we got out, he took off the band. We would have had to stand together for like two extra minutes. No one else cared, just leave it on. Then we had to tie it back on every time it started again. Anyway, back to the point. I was running, running, almost to the ball in the middle of the court, I then tripped over my own shoe, went flying, sliding, almost to the line, smacking my arms and legs on the ground- and failed to get the ball. That's not the worst of it though. This was after we had decided to play regular dodge ball. I was by myself. I wasn't even tied to anyone. Then to add insult to injury, I was the first one out, being smacked hard in the back by one of the biggest, most inflated balls, while I was turned away. Boo.

Pizza bread.

Pizza Bread.

I was thinking the other day if "Faith without works is dead" then pizza without toppings is bread.

There is actually a "Malcolm in the Middle" where Malcolm goes over to Stevie's house for a sleepover. Stevie then tells him that they are going to have pizza for dinner: "Cheese-less" breath, "Sauce-less" breath,"pizza." "That's just bread". "Yeah" breath "Pizza" breath "bread."

Private.

You may have noticed that I have made my blog private. It so happened that a creeper left a comment on my blog in another language, which proved to be not very savory. Anyway, there is my explanation. I am kind of upset because I didn't want to make it private. Some people just have to ruin everyone else's fun.

Closet.

The other day I was occupied by cleaning out my closet. Unfortunately I decided to start at 7 pm, not realizing it would take me 5 hours to get it not-done. At about midnight I decided to pick up where I left off the next day. I then began to put everything back into the boxes I had been clearing out, and having gotten rid of nothing so far, had to start all over again the next day. This picture is showing the anatomy of a box. Inside the box there is usually crud that you would never even remember you had except for when you have to clean it out, and realize that you can't possibly live without it.



Sunglasses.

Sunglasses are definitely my favorite accessory. I got another pair last week. I actually already had a pair, and upon cleaning out my closet found another pair. But I found that my favorite sunglasses were lost in Bear Lake last summer and I felt a strong urge to replace them with a new pair in the same style. I find that since my face is so wide, I have to go with large, squarish, but not too squarish sunglasses. I don't do round, and I definitely do not do narrow. So, happy birthday to me.

Toothpaste or Patooey-paste?

I don't like the taste of toothpaste that often. My favorite type of toothpaste is the blue kind with sparkles that comes out in a star shape. I haven't gotten that stuff for years, but I do admit, I sometimes snitch some from my nieces and nephews when they're around. The fact is that most toothpastes are too strong, and though they are supposed to be flavored like mint, they taste more like... burning. I have also found other toothpastes that taste funny. I used some of Kelsey's special sensitive teeth paste, and it tasted like pickles. Kosher pickles. Actually that's a lie, I don't think I could tell you the difference between a kosher pickle and a... not- kosher pickle. Point- It was gross. When you brush your teeth, your mouth should feel clean, not like you just scavenged a relish platter. Then the last couple of nights, I have been using this toothpaste that I swear tasted like hay. And not like "HEY, that tastes great!", but like "Hay. That tastes like horse breath."



A wink an' a smoi-ull.

I was recently thinking about the song "A wink and a smile", and how in England they must have changed the words from "it's only green lights and all rights" to "it's only green lights and all lefts". Just think about it. How many songs do you think they have to change for the English population? Holy cow. They must have to change a lot more that that for different countries. I mean, what about the countries that don't even have traffic lights? That could get confusing. And the language barrier would probably even make that harder.

Popcorn.

I have probably been eating more popcorn than meals lately. I love popcorn. And Hershey kisses. And together they make something that is even more incredible. Mmmm. And popcorn reminds me of movies...

Emma.

I love this version of this movie. Seriously. It is the best Jane Austen based movie I have ever seen. Sorry to my good friends Collin, Kate, Kiera, Gwyneth, Sally, and Allen. I just can't get enough of this movie. It's four hours long, split into 4 episodes, and I've watched it 4 times in the last 2 weeks. And here's the best part: We first saw in on PBS, but since have bought it, and there are even more scenes on the DVD version than on the TV version. If you could see me, there would be an amazed look on my face. I am that excited. It is so good. I love all the actors and actresses, and the wardrobe is amazing. AND, get this, all the characters are actually British in real life. Awesome.

Horse.

And since, I have been so into Jane Austen lately (check out my new blog journalforjane.blogspot.com) it was very lucky that my friend Kelse invited us to come and ride her horse. What say's Regency Era better than horseback riding? I'll tell you nothing. I haven't been on a horse for more than a minute at a time in my life, and I've never actually been on one while it was moving, but this time was different. I got up on the horse with almost no difficulty, and by that I mean, Kelse actually had to push me up while I panicked about falling off and dieing... or something equally horrific. So basically I lied about it not being difficult, it was actually the most difficult part. Once I was up on the horse and had stopped hyperventilating, it was actually really fun. I got to trot all by myself. She wasn't even holding the rope for me or anything while I trotted. The second time I mean. It was so much fun, and she said I could come back and ride again. How exciting.