Skool is kool.

What I learned in SkOoL.

Did you know I'm going to school? Probably. Well, anyway, I am. I'm taking an education class, a philosophy class, and English class and a history class. Short summaries:

Education: we are learning to teach small children by observing, teaching through experience and showing compassion and care. My teacher scares the crud out of me. I feel like any minute she's going to look at me and just say "Get out, you fail."

Philosophy: Pointless. No offense to all the philosophers out there, maybe it's just my teacher. He's constantly talking in circles, which I get the feeling that a lot of philosophers do. It's like saying "Let me play the devil's advocate for a minute." all the time. So in the end, no one knows what your actual opinion is- and you have no idea what to write your paper about. Stinkin'.... Plus he's always talking about "what I wrote my thesis on..." and "I work 5 jobs, so you have no excuse." I just want to throttle him. I'd like to say "How do you know we have no excuse? Maybe someone in here works six jobs and is going to school full time?" --and perhaps likes to sleep a lot. Then he says this thing- "Yes, no? Does that make sense?" ALL THE TIME. He says it even if he doesn't expect us to answer back, which if he still expects us to answer back, he shouldn't get his hopes up. A total of 1 person talks in that class, and since I sit behind that person, I'm pretty sure he's just trying to distract from the fact that he's playing "Angry Birds" most of the time.

History: Not much to report. I did find out that John Smith was about 5 foot, had a gum disease which caused him to have bad breath and may or may not have ever even met Pocahontas, who was about 7 when he was in his forties. So... that kind of ruins that movie.

English: I like to write. Obviously- I can write about nothing for hours. But last week we had to have our rough drafts for a paper in, and since I hadn't written it, I cranked it out, knowing that it would be crud, but I just wanted to have something to show so I didn't get in trouble. Turns out, a week later, I turn in that same paper, with some revisions, as my final draft. I don't really know what happened. I don't really like writing about stuff that doesn't really speak to me- as you can tell from what I write about here. My teacher asked me a couple of weeks ago what the last book I read was. I said, "I don't remember... I read a lot." She then said "See, she reads so much she can't even remember the title of the last book she read." Actually I couldn't remember the title of the last book I read because it had been such a long time since I had read a book. However, I do read a lot. One of the guys in my class said that he had only read one novel in his whole life. Wow. Not ok. How did he get through high school? I'll tell you how- cheating.

Fairy vs. Faerie.

I think Fairies are American, while Faeries are European. However, I know for a fact that the books I read that have "Faeries" are all written by Americans who just want to be European. What's with that? Well since the lines have been blurred, here's my take: Fairies look like this:

They are cute and have big eyes and happy little wings. They are in books that are happy and have a good ending without all that drama.

"Faeries" are always moping around. They look like this. See, this picture isn't cute. It's supposed to "speak" to you. She's not smiling, and you know she knows she's being painted, she just wants that dramatic effect. "Faeries" wear dull colors and have creepier wings- like a bug.

Creepy

Speaking of creepy things- a word of advice: don't watch a thriller movie trailer in the middle of the night. I just watched a trailer for the movie called "The Raven", and let me tell you, it's not a documentary of Edgar Allen Poe's life. Creepy. A few months ago I watched the trailer for a movie called "The Lady in Black" or something like that, and I couldn't close my eyes for days without thinking a zombie hand was going to reach out and grab my shoulder. I don't even think it was a zombie hand in the trailer.

Sigh.

Here's something to think about: What would you do differently if you saw a sign on the road that said "Guardrail Damage Ahead"? My guess is nothing. There is one on the way to Kelsey's house, and I don't get it. "Ooh look honey, there's guardrail damage ahead! So please don't swerve off the road until we get past it ok?" Come on. The only way that sign has a point is if some blind guy is running down the road BY HIMSELF and is using the guardrail for a guide, but oh, by the way, he's blind so he can't see the sign anyway.

The only sign I can think of that has less point is "Falling Rocks". Ummm, so what am I gonna do about it? I can't stop the rocks from falling. Plus if you're trying to tell me to slow down, that's not gonna happen either- I'm hauling off the mountain as fast as I can. Falling rocks- psh.

Excipointed.

Dad and a whole bunch of guys at works got prizes for going so long without incident. He brought this big box home with the word YETI on it. I was kind of excited. Was it Yeti bait? A Yeti foot? An Ipad for his youngest child? No. It was a cooler. A Yeti brand cooler. Whatever. Inside there was a pamphlet, and I'm not talking three-fold sheet of paper with the company's mission statement- it was a 10-15 page cardstock booklet of all the wonderful things about a Yeti cooler (which probably cost as much as an I-pad). Inside it had photos of "famous" people (I'm talking fishing channel famous. Not REAL famous.) with quotes about how great the Yeti cooler is. How before the Yeti, they "spent thousands on ice". Really? Thousands? You don't need ice made from champagne sir. But the crowning jewel was that this was one of the toughest coolers around because-ta da!- it was Grizzly bear proof.

At first I thought that was pretty cool. Then I thought, if I walked into my camp and there was a grizzly bear there, what would be my first thought? "SAVE THE FISH!" would not be on my top ten list. I'd be out of there in a heartbeat, hauling my be-hind down the trail to the car which I'd drive ten miles down the interstate in before I remembered I left my wallet in the tent.

Wasted humor.

Even as a child, my mom said I took things very literally. (Why is it called a white sale if not everything is white?) Unfortunately, this means I don't get, or I may choose to ignore, many other people's jokes. I know I make more ridiculous jokes than almost anyone, and some are even puns, but they seem to make sense to me. I feel sometimes my humor is wasted though. Either I make a joke that I think is clever and there's too much noise, people just aren't listening, or I know more about that ONE subject than them, so I end up having to explain it. This morning for instance, I was thinking about giving Ben a card for helping with my computer that said "Thanks for all your hard work, but all I'm giving you is a big donut." Then I would give a donut to him. See, I thought it was clever. You know, a donut is like a big zero, as in, no money. Kelsey didn't think it was funny. She said if I had to explain it, it wasn't funny. Wasted humor. Then this one time a few years ago when everyone was stocking up on rice because the prices were going up and people thought rice was running out or something, mom and dad were talking about why they thought the rice was running out. I said "Maybe the rice fields flooded." Rice is harvested on flooded fields. Clever right? They weren't listening. Then when they say "What was that?" I repeat it, and it's no longer funny. Waste. I try and I try and all I get are, "What did you say?"s and "I don't get it."s. What does a person have to do to be taken seriously?

Every time I look at facebook I think, "Could this get any more depressing?" Everyone is either depressed about something, and feels the need to share, and others... well more are just obnoxious. I can't stand it when someone puts something really vague on thier status like "I hope I can make it through this tough time that may change my life forever." Then they say nothing else about it. It's like, if you don't want us to know what the hard time is, don't tell me about it in the first place. I am all for privacy, but that's like saying "I have a really awesome secret... but I'm not going to tell you." Then you can't even ask because you feel like you're being nosy. THEN, to make it worse, there are all the comments from the people who knows what's going on, and they are giving advice and it makes no sense because you don't know what's happening. Yeah. That's why I hate facebook. And because I don't really talk to anyone on there anyway.

Stupid Cars.
The only car that is more stupid looking than those box cars, are PT Cruisers. Seriously. The only people who drive those are A) Going through a midlife crisis... 10 years ago, B) Unfortunate enough to have their parents' hand-me-down midlife crisis car or C) Kidding themselves.



(Oh yeah, the sun rays make all the difference.)

Studying.
When I think about studying, I think about a slow and painful process of looking over terms, vocabulary, and names I will never hear again. But then I think- it doesn't have to be that way. It can be fun, like a roller-coaster. Then I think, "Nope, nothing is as fun as a roller-coaster. Studying stinks."

Universal.
I think that if Universal remotes really existed, there would be a whole lot less remotes in everyone's houses. They always advertise for universal remotes, but are they really? If they were, they would work on all or your devices, which I think is the point, but here's mine: I've never been to a house with only one remote. We have 2, which I believe is the least amount we've ever had for a TV since the DVD player was dumped on our doorsteps like a hot sack of... rocks back in the single digits... of the 21st century. COME ON. It's 2011. I should think that after all these years, we could at least have a remote that adapted to all devices. I also think there should be a way to have a remote work from anywhere in the room. (I actually have a plan for that, it just isn't in motion yet since I know nothing about electronics.) I feel like I have to stand up and do a special remote dance every time I want to change the volume. Sheesh. What's the world coming to?

I have the best ice-cream idea ever. It will be bunny tracks ice-cream with an added ingredient- marshmallow cream. I'll call it "Rabbid Bunny Tracks".
Oh man. I want a bunny so bad I could cry. And a kitten. But I don't think I should get both at once.

There is this group here in Denton called the "KDB", not to be confused with the KGB, which I hear isn't great. KDB stands for "Keep Denton Beautiful". I bought one of thier water bottles for 2 reasons. First, it was only a dollar, and hello, I love waterbottles. This one even had a pop top, so I didn't have to unscrew the lid. It's pretty cool. Secondly, it has the "KDB" logo on it, with the phrase "Rinse, Reuse, Repeat" on it. You see, it says to people who see me "She's into keeping our community green." But then it doesn't hold me to the too high standard of being green outside our city. Awesome. Then something aweful happened. It went through the dishwasher and the bottom totally melted. It's still usable but it can't stand up anymore. Guess what can though? A disposable water bottle.

Now, onto my favorite subject. TV... and making fun of most of it.

7th Heaven.
I think the WB president had a little extra cash, called a meeting and said "I think we should try an experiment. Let's get a whole bunch of the worst actors and actresses and make a T.V. show out of it. Oh, and also, let's let a group of highschool drama teachers to write the script. Yeah, let's call it '7th Heaven'."
Oh and then he said "And let's throw in a kid who looks like she was born in Mexico to add to the mystery of the extremely white family." I honestly don't know how that stayed on for so many years. I'm pretty sure some of the co-stars were pulled off the street and told "all you have to do is read the cue card."

Now, let's talk about good T.V. Chuck. My new favorite show that stars adults. "Big Time Rush." My new favorite show that stars teenagers... who are actually in thier early 20's. Both of these shows are awesome, and yet so different that it's like comparing apples and oranges... or a Nickelodeon show to a show on a major network. Big Time Rush, or as some call them, BTR, has a target audience of... tweens. I am more or a tween 20 and 22. I know, maybe I should be watching more mature shows, but honestly it makes me crack up every time. I love it. "Chuck", or as some call it... "Chuck", also makes me laugh every time and is a good answer for a 21 years old to have when asked what her favorite TV show is. Kelsey even made me a "Nerd Herd" logo out of vinyl on her special cutting machine for my computer. It was my idea, but Kelsey did a factastic job of making it, which I couldn't figure out how to do.
Speaking of "Chuck". My sister Deon, "Holla Atcha" has very good taste. It is pretty incredible. When Deon says, I think you should watch this show, or read this book, it's almost without fail that I love it. She was the one who told me to watch "Chuck", "Big Time Rush", and so many other things.

Speaking of Deon, I mean "Chuck". I have decided to start carrying a knife in my boot. Eventually I'll get a real spy knife, but for now I think I'm going to just use a kitchen knife ducktaped to the side of my sandal. I'm gonna need to find a knife holder thing all those spies have. Do you think spy shops are hard to find? I think that in order to be legit, like for real spies, they should be. I can't just go to one in the mall, then everyone would know. I'm gonna have to start going down dark allies and on the roofs of tall buildings. I'll probably find some kind of contact there. I wonder if they have shopping carts at spy shops. If you think about it, a spy may be able to carry everything consealed in thier clothes and shoes to a swanky party, but with all the packaging in the store, that would be a nightmare to carry around.


When I become rich and famous, I am going to start a reality show about me. It will be called "Harsh Reality". It'll be ironic though because real reality is actually boring... especially mine.