Sunday, July 25, 2010

Well, well, well, here we are again.


Can-Michael-da.
I would like to preface this post by saying that I now realize that Michael Buble is actually from Canada. But at least we have the Jonas Brothers. And the Beatles. Har har har.

A while.
I know it's been a while, and though I have been slacking, I hope some of this post will make up for the tardiness. I got a job, that's part of the reason I'm late. A very small part, but still. It's a crappy job, so... that should count for something right? I basically sit in a booth for hours on end, waiting for someone to come up to the counter and say, "How much are those sunglasses?" watch as their eyes get wide and then say "Well I might come back." They never come back.
HOLY COW! I just realized our keyboard is wireless! I'm not even close to the desk now and still, I'm typing. Amazing. How long have we had this computer? I'm pretty sure it's been close to seven months. Apparently I'm not very observant. Is this just blowing anybody else's mind?Speaking of things blowing up, or just getting all lightening-ee...
Death by lightening-shower.
A couple weeks ago, I was about the take a shower. It was lightening outside. Also, the shower plug was all clogged up with like grout and junk from re-grouting around the tub. So the tub would fill up like 6 inches after only a few minutes. Anyway, as I was getting in the shower I thought "What if the lightening somehow gets through the roof and hits me. I'll be dead." Part of my reasoning to the next part comes from being told that when you're standing in water while being electrocuted you haven't got a chance because the electrical current goes through you and water doesn't let it pass through, so you're toast. Anyway, since I was standing in six inches of water and could hear the thunder outside, I decided that the only thing to do was stand on one leg. That way the current would go through me and, of course, turn down the leg that was bent up. It took me quite a while to take a shower that night. And in case you were wondering, no lightening came through the roof and hit me, but at least I was safe. I kept on thinking "This is ridiculous." But then I would hear some particularly loud thunder and would jump back to one leg. Good workout though.

Oh, one more thing I'm paranoid about: I always tie my floss into knots at night so that I don't find the pieces at night while I'm asleep and strangle myself. And of course I can't just pull more floss out in my sleep to use.
Why psychology?
I am going to be a psychologist. Now if only I could bypass all of that schooling. I'm not really into school. But I think it would be cool to figure out what goes on in the human mind, but mostly I want to learn--
Hypnotism. Seriously. No really, stop laughing. I would like to see if hypnotism actually works at bringing back memories and stuff. And no, it has nothing to do with calling on the devil or anything like that.

Idiot with an umbrella.
I have started taking a class at the college. It's sociology. Assignment 1: Break the rules of society. After many unhelpful suggestions, including speaking in different accents that are clearly not mine, and getting angry at innocent clerks, and some made by Ben that I won't even mention, I have decided on walking in the mall with an umbrella. It's embarrassing enough without being totally embarrassing. I am pretty sure I'll get funny looks, but mostly I'm worried that a security guard is going to think I'm crazy and kick me out. Oh well, that's a pretty big reaction I can write about.



Inception is... cool.
I have seen Inception 3 times now. The last time was in the IMAX. Cool. probably not 5 extra dollars cool, but still, it's all about saying you did it right? It is such an awesome movie. It's exciting and funny and... OK, I'm obviously not very eloquent when it comes to having a whole bunch of words that just mean "really cool", but you get the point. So awesome. And Joseph Gordon Levitt, who plays Arthur, he's like double cool. Just think of an English guy without the accent. He is sophisticated without being stiff. That's how I see it. Funny without being goofy. He is all the good qualities in an actor all wrapped up into one.
BFF.
Speaking of cool actors. I seriously want to be the Jonas Brothers best friend. Seriously. I even titled this picture "my best friends". They are funny, and seem genuinely nice. I love their show. It is hilarious. Oh man. Funny, funny.
Coffee.
Whenever I go to work, I have to drive past a coffee shop. The name of this shop rhymes with Guitarbucks. It is so annoying. And, p.s., do people really need coffee at 9:30 at night? Anyway, whenever I drive past, someone is doing something stupid, like not stopping a stop sign, or stopping where there is no stop sign or pulling out really fast in front of you, even though there are no cars behind you, and they could be less annoying if they waited 3 seconds. I think that maybe Starbucks makes people obnoxious. Actually I have to admit, I have actually only had people do stupid stuff outside of Starbucks a couple of times. I just hate having to wait for them to pull into it's parking lot. And I'm also blaming them for all the stupid stuff other drivers do. I hate bad drivers. Though, I have done my fair share of dumb stuff. But I do safe dumb stuff, like wait to long to turn right, and just have to wait for more cars to pass. I have also stopped at a green light a few times. People driving behind me must hate my guts.
Manila evil-ope.
So, I have a job. Lame job. Worse than lame. The worst job ever, besides like, a hit man. But pretty soon I might be a hit man-- hired by myself. I can't stand my manager, or the owners of this good for nothing sunglasses kiosk. I could tell you everything they have done, but I'll just summarize. My manager asks me every other day that I work to stay longer (usually about 6 hours longer) because he doesn't think he can get there in time. Or maybe just because he is tired and I quote "had a long day". Oh, and sitting in the middle of the mall for hours is just a ball of fun for me. Anyway, it was one of these days, that he had asked me to stay longer, and some other things happened, like he kept changing the schedule, etc. , that I found the envelope.
There is a manila envelope under the counter that we put our end-of-the-day reports in. The week before, as I was putting a report in, the little metal prong fell off of the clasp. That happens sometimes when you bend them a lot. It's not meant to be handled that often. It was like 2 and a half weeks after we had started using that envelope. Anyway, a few days later when we had to send the reports in, I find that we have a new envelope. Under the little metal clasp was written "Please try not to break". As I said, this was one of those days that he was especially getting on my nerves. I was LIVID. What does he think I do all day, sit there and wiggle the clasp until it breaks? I was so mad. About a week later, when I was closing the shop again, I put the report into the envelope, and seeing the hand-written message again, I took the clasps and bent them back and forth until I was sure that the next time someone bent them, they would break. Just as I planned, the next day, I found the envelope prong-less, sitting under the counter. One small prank for Catherine, one giant prank for Catherinekind.

2 comments:

Kathy said...

You posted!!! I just love the way your mind works!

Elizabeth said...

Oh man, awesome. I love the envelope thing. Oh, and Jason Gordan Levitt has a potty mouth. Strike one. ;o)