Big Oven.
The other day I was thinking, people would have so many less troubles, if they manufactured really big ovens. Have you ever wondered how they make the world's largest pizza? I know I have, then I saw on Arthur that they have to dig a big hole in the ground and cook it from underneath or something silly like that. First off, who wants to eat pizza from a hole in the ground, and second, what about other baked goods? Clearly if you wanted to make the world's largest cinnamon roll, you'd need a huge oven, not just a dumb hole in the ground.
Stupid Slogan.
Have you heard the slogan "If you can't eat right, eat smart." ? I have. I first heard it... well a while ago, but what's amazing, is that they still don't have a new slogan. I mean come on! Eating right IS eating smart! Duh. I think they should change their catchphrase to "If you can't come up with a good slogan, you get fired. So long Brad."
Movie Ticket Quality.
So, I was in Provo for a while a while ago. I went to the dollar movie like 4 times. It cost more than a dollar, but that's for another post. The point is, that I got into the theater and slipped my ticket into my wallet. I save all my movie tickets... because I want to. Anyway, I noticed that back home where movies cost $9, the tickets are like beige, and then at the dollar movie, costing somewhere between $.75 to $1.75, the tickets are all different colors. Just goes to show you that movie ticket quality is a factor to some people. When I become rich and famous, I'll open a theater where each ticket is hand painted for the movie. Eat that... movie theater owners...
Iron Man.
Speaking of movies, I saw Iron Man while I was in Utah. It was good. And I've decided this much: If Tony Stark wasn't a fictional character, and he was 20-30 years younger... I'd be all over that.
He's so cool. I'll tell you one thing, he and Bruce Banner are tied for awesomeness in my book.
"You Know What I Mean?".
Why is it that saying "You know what I mean?" with one raised eyebrow, always means something dirty? I don't get it. Maybe I want to say "So, I played the piano today. You know what I mean?" Ummm... ok, yeah it sounds dirty. Never mind.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles... and Boats.
I've discovered that I can't travel in any kind of vehicle without getting extremely nervous. Planes make me feel like I am going to fall out of the sky. You know that dip thing they do? Yeah, that's rough on the tummy. Trains are also scary. I went on one in New York. It was fun, except for the parts where it was passing a wall and swaying at the same time, and I was in the window seat, so if it did crash, my face would probably get scraped off. I just got shivers down my back. Automobiles, often called the car, are just scary. You don't know who's going to come barrelling toward you. Boats mostly just make me sick. Oh and there's also the fact that if it crashes, nothing can save you. Ok, maybe there are things that can save you... like swimming. Just keep in mind this is coming from the girl who last year thought there was a rattle snake in her room... upstairs. There's also the time that I though that someone was going to have the urge to get their mouth stuck on the bathtub plug and not be able to get up. Oh and the time that I thought, "I better turn off the hall light, because if mom comes up stairs with a laundry basket and tries to turn it off with her elbow she might fall down the stairs." Yes, I do have anxiety problems.
Heart Attack.
The other day I was having shooting pains going up my right arm. I thought "Don't worry", because if I was having a heart attack, there would be shooting pains going up my left arm... right? Well inevitably, I started to panic and hoped that I didn't have a heart attack. Don't worry, I didn't.
Link Larkin.
If Link Larkin was real, I'd marry him. I'll admit, I do have a lot of fictional crushes, but Link just blows Tony Stark and Bruce Banner out of the water. In fact, I think anyone named Link would. Oops, maybe not the Link from "The Legend of Zelda". Isn't he some kind of elf? He does wear that weird hat.
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2 comments:
It makes me so happy when you post stuff. You are seriously one of the funniest people I know. I miss you, you should come visit more.
I agree with Kathy, on all parts. Come visit. I think Link on the Ledgend of Zelda is a girl.
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