"Imagine a building contractor..."

Just to let you know, I am sacrificing precious math time to do this. The funny thing is, I almost feel more guilty not blogging than doing math. I should probably get my priorities straight.











The other night I went "Happy Fun Night". It was pretty fun. I did wear shoes you couldn't play volleyball in, so I had to go barefoot. I probably got some disease. I still get the heebly jeeblies just thinking about it. Kammie went with me, and, ignoring my persistant "Let's just go home."s, convinced me it would be fun. It was, though I kept looking like an idiot because I could never serve correctly on the first try. Luckily they gave you three chances. I am usually pretty good at serving, looks like it was just luck.






Yesterday I was bored, not for lack of stuff to do, mostly because I didn't want to do the things I should have been doing, and am now suffering the consequenses. A.k.a. having to do math today, and having to clean and organize my bathroom tomorrow. Anyway, (see how distracted I get), I decided that I wanted to make an angel food cake. And despite Alton Brown's "intermediate" rating on how do make it, and his 25 minute prep time, it took me three hours, and 24 eggs. I know. I actually had to blend sugar, so it was super fine, but still not powdered sugar, then crack and separate 24 eggs (I only needed 12, it just ended up this way after I ruined the first batch), and sift the flour mixture into the egg mixture WHILE hand mixing it. I ended up holding the sifter handle in my mouth while I poured and mixed. It would have been really embarrassing if someone had walked in. It was actually really good in the end though.



This is our forerunner. Ok, it's not. Ours is black and older, and didn't get it's own photo shoot. So the other night, I was driving my friends around. You see Amiee and Kammie were both here, and then Krista and Jennie were there too. I never thought I'd be reduced to tears by my own friends. Ok, so they didn't actually make me cry, but I did do a lot of yelling. They didn't listen.






I got a job, and part of that job is having to find out how much it would cost to put an add on the radio. So, I called the local radio stations, and of course, they couldn't give me any information that I could use unless I had information for them, which I didn't. I thought my dad was the king of analagies. I was wrong. This one guy I was talking to gave me three in our 5 minute conversation. He was telling me over and over again how he couldn't tell me how much it would cost until I had more information. I wanted to shoot myself. I kept on saying "OK, I'll get more information-" "Imagine a car salesman..." "I understand, I'll get back to you with more-" "Imagine a building contractor..." "So how long are your commercials?" "They are 30 and 60 seconds. Imagine a toilet paper roll..."


A couple of weeks ago dad asked me to make a remembrance scrap book for the stake president for the trek. I said I would and so we got the stuff that week. i got a 30 page scrap book done in about 8 days. No small feat my friend. I am actually pretty proud of it though. I kind of want to keep it, but that would be silly because first off we made it for him, and second, I didn't actually go on the trek. So... yeah.






I am so excited. I am getting a king size bed. Ok, so we're not actually buying one, but we are putting the two twin beds together to make one. How cool is that? I'll tell you- very. I am even trying to get mom to let me write "Celery" on my bedspread like in this picture I saw on the internet. I guess it must be the new thing.








Today has been a good day. If you want to know more about why, you'll have to call me because I don't know who read this and I don't want to embarrass myself.









And lastly. On my way home from church every sunday, I see this funeral home. As I drive past, I always have a double-take moment. Because everytime, I'm sure it says "Martin's funerals and ceramics." I start wondering "why the heck would you want to buy ceramics from a place where they prepare dead bodies?" Then I look again and see that it really says "Martin's funerals and cremations." That clears it up quite a bit, though makes it no less creepy. I didn't find a picture of a coffin, because honestly I didn't want to look for one. You never know what people are going to put on the internet these days.

Don't judge me, I was tired when I wrote this.

And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you lousy kids.

This morning I was waiting for mom so we could go pick up the car. I was flipping through channels and happened upon Scooby Doo. That show is actually pretty funny, but the spin-offs are pathetic. First off, there's "What's New Scooby Doo?". The animation is too modern and the characters are too goofy, well the extras.

The next one is Scrappy Doo. I can't stand him. He's like the annoying character that everyone wishes was left at home.





Then of course there's the movie, which is just a sham.



I think that in the movie, and the new version of Scooby Doo, they made the mistake of making the monsters real, or too realistic. In the old show, no matter how unrealistic it is for a headless man to chase a group of kids, at least they made it clear that it wasn't a real headless man. Sorry if you were in the middle of that episode and I ruined it for you. That's just life.






Stitches.



The other day I decided to try my hand at stuffed animal making. It was going good, looked cute when it was flat, and seemed like it would look good stuffed. Yeah, when it came down to it, and it was stuffed, it looked like Senior Mortgage. It's legs are like 3 times as long as they need to be, and it has a pot belly. Not Cute. So, after I decided to name it Stitches, (because I stitched it myself. Get it?) I started making plans to give it some major surgery. He'll probably be on the operating table for a few days. The ridiculous part is that I actually kind of feel guilty for cutting it apart. He doesn't even have a face! I guess it's what he'd want.

Last night dad came home and said he saw a coyote walking down the middle of the street. That's creepy. So this morning, when me and mom went on our walk, I was all paranoid that the rabid wolf was going to jump out of the bushes and attack. Of course that would have been really unexpected seeing as it was a coyote. I heard a dog collar behind us, and looked around. Then I realized that it probably wasn't the coyote because, duh, it wouldn't have a collar, and if it did, I think dad was sorely mistaken. Luckily for me and mom, the dog-coyote was behind a fence, and so we may never know whether or not the dog was the coyote, though we may have never figured it out anyway.

Then on the way home, there was this lady doing mysterious things. She was pulling weeds. I guess I thought she was hiding evidence, or something because then I started thinking about the coyote, which connected with wolf in my head, and she became a werewolf... in my mind.







Then I started to feel light headed, so she must be a werewolf witch. Ok, so a woman-coyote witch. I think the light- headedness actually came from staying up too late. Oh and everything else did too.

Kidz Bop.



Oh dear. There are some things that should have been stopped before they began. The Land Before Time movies, most Disney Channel shows and Kid"z" Bop. The z just makes me dislike it even more. The s makes the same sound as the z in this case, so just leave it. You don't tug on Superman's cape, spit into the wind, or make mediocre songs even worse by having kid's sing them. It's just like when you're listening to a song, and realize it's the live version. Then the singer yells to the audience to start singing, and the audience is thinking "I came to hear this band. If I'm going to be the one singing, I should be the one getting paid."

Your computer is dying if:

It stops letting you put pictures online.

It sporadically shuts down.

The battery light flashes orange even when it's plugged in.

It takes longer to shut down than start up.

It won't run firefox because it's too complex.

It takes 20 seconds to minimize a window.

It shows an hourglass when it tries to refresh your blank background.

And, it won't let you stay connected to the internet for more than five minutes at at time.

Dimitri.



Dimitri was the only cartoon character I really had a crush on. The other day, John Cusack went way up on my list because I found out he was the voice of Dimitri. I also found out that basically all of the voices on that movie are of famous people. Not just famous for having cartoon voices either, like, face famous people. The kind of people who you'd stop on the street and ask to get a picture with them. Look it up, you'll see.







Shoulder Work.



The other day I was driving home and there was some roadwork by our house. It said "Shoulder Work" on one of the signs. I thought that is was kind of presumptuous that they would think people would think it was the road shoulder. I guess it would be a little weird to see a man on a gurney surrounded by surgeons in the middle of the road, but stranger things have happened. Actually, they probably haven't... much.





Keyboard slang.



I was laying my head down next to my keyboard today- I was waiting it to load up- and I noticed something- the keys spell stuff. Now before you assume I'm some kind of moron- yes I do know letters spell words- let me explain. When you look at the keys going up and down (at a slight diagonal) they spell out slang... kind of. Observe:

QAZ- This, actually brings nothing to mind. Use your imagination.

WSX- Like Sussex with a W.

EDC- Edgar with a C, and said by someone talking really fast.

RFV- You know Alfie, that... thing. Well this is his dog, named "Arfie".

TGB- Clearly this is slang for Tugboat.

YHN- Obviously this is a shortened version of "yawn".

UJM- This is for people who know someone named Jim. It means "Uh... Jim."

IK- Ick, like Yuck.

OL- Old. Duh.

P- Puh, as is puh-sha.

Dream

Last night I had a weird dream. I usually have dreams of things that could happen, not things that are impossible, for instance, giant hamburgers chasing me. Last night was pretty off the wall though. So, I was at the movie theater with Zac Efron and his date, but he was like 14, with crooked teeth. So, the person who was seating us came to buckle Zac's seat belt because apparently they had to be locked so no one without a ticket could have one, and they would know if you didn't pay. I don't know why, but I didn't have a ticket. So, I had to sit on Zac Efron's lap while we waited. Talk about awkward. His date then turned into my friend Amiee, and that made me jealous. She had to go to the bathroom so I took her seat, and waited for something to happen where I'd get a ticket or something. I don't know why I wasn't doing anything. I actually remember saying, "I don't remember even coming here." So obviously this was a dream, which I stupidly couldn't figure out while I was asleep. While I was waiting Kammie showed up, and I was saying how fancy "theaters in California" were. There were these guys walking around waiting on people, expecting massive tips from people everytime they passed. Kammie was gone, and Zac Efron came back. Then four seats over was M. Knight Shyamalan. You know how in airplanes they have the seat back pockets filled with pamphlets? Well this theater had these, and apparently his movie was being advertised in one of them. He kept telling me to get out of the seat so a real customer could look at the advertisement. I was trying to tell him I was waiting for my friend when Amiee walked up. Feeling very much out of place, and wanting to leave, I said I'd wait in the car. They told me our forerunner was there because I'd driven, which I'd had no memory of. I was walking out, and mom was there. She was sitting with Amiee and Zac. She said she'd walk me out to the car. We got out to the parking lot, and there was our car, by itself at night. She didn't want me to be there, so she drove me to an ally. I told her I'd rather be in a lit parking lot out in the open than in this ally. I think this finally made her think to just buy me a ticket. So we went in, bought an ice cream cone, which was required when getting a ticket, and while I was choosing the size and flavor, I woke up.

You Know What I Mean?

Big Oven.

The other day I was thinking, people would have so many less troubles, if they manufactured really big ovens. Have you ever wondered how they make the world's largest pizza? I know I have, then I saw on Arthur that they have to dig a big hole in the ground and cook it from underneath or something silly like that. First off, who wants to eat pizza from a hole in the ground, and second, what about other baked goods? Clearly if you wanted to make the world's largest cinnamon roll, you'd need a huge oven, not just a dumb hole in the ground.


























Stupid Slogan.



Have you heard the slogan "If you can't eat right, eat smart." ? I have. I first heard it... well a while ago, but what's amazing, is that they still don't have a new slogan. I mean come on! Eating right IS eating smart! Duh. I think they should change their catchphrase to "If you can't come up with a good slogan, you get fired. So long Brad."









Movie Ticket Quality.



So, I was in Provo for a while a while ago. I went to the dollar movie like 4 times. It cost more than a dollar, but that's for another post. The point is, that I got into the theater and slipped my ticket into my wallet. I save all my movie tickets... because I want to. Anyway, I noticed that back home where movies cost $9, the tickets are like beige, and then at the dollar movie, costing somewhere between $.75 to $1.75, the tickets are all different colors. Just goes to show you that movie ticket quality is a factor to some people. When I become rich and famous, I'll open a theater where each ticket is hand painted for the movie. Eat that... movie theater owners...




Iron Man.



Speaking of movies, I saw Iron Man while I was in Utah. It was good. And I've decided this much: If Tony Stark wasn't a fictional character, and he was 20-30 years younger... I'd be all over that.




He's so cool. I'll tell you one thing, he and Bruce Banner are tied for awesomeness in my book.




"You Know What I Mean?".



Why is it that saying "You know what I mean?" with one raised eyebrow, always means something dirty? I don't get it. Maybe I want to say "So, I played the piano today. You know what I mean?" Ummm... ok, yeah it sounds dirty. Never mind.




Planes, Trains and Automobiles... and Boats.



I've discovered that I can't travel in any kind of vehicle without getting extremely nervous. Planes make me feel like I am going to fall out of the sky. You know that dip thing they do? Yeah, that's rough on the tummy. Trains are also scary. I went on one in New York. It was fun, except for the parts where it was passing a wall and swaying at the same time, and I was in the window seat, so if it did crash, my face would probably get scraped off. I just got shivers down my back. Automobiles, often called the car, are just scary. You don't know who's going to come barrelling toward you. Boats mostly just make me sick. Oh and there's also the fact that if it crashes, nothing can save you. Ok, maybe there are things that can save you... like swimming. Just keep in mind this is coming from the girl who last year thought there was a rattle snake in her room... upstairs. There's also the time that I though that someone was going to have the urge to get their mouth stuck on the bathtub plug and not be able to get up. Oh and the time that I thought, "I better turn off the hall light, because if mom comes up stairs with a laundry basket and tries to turn it off with her elbow she might fall down the stairs." Yes, I do have anxiety problems.


Heart Attack.



The other day I was having shooting pains going up my right arm. I thought "Don't worry", because if I was having a heart attack, there would be shooting pains going up my left arm... right? Well inevitably, I started to panic and hoped that I didn't have a heart attack. Don't worry, I didn't.















Link Larkin.



If Link Larkin was real, I'd marry him. I'll admit, I do have a lot of fictional crushes, but Link just blows Tony Stark and Bruce Banner out of the water. In fact, I think anyone named Link would. Oops, maybe not the Link from "The Legend of Zelda". Isn't he some kind of elf? He does wear that weird hat.

I basicaly love soft serve ice cream. It's delicious. It's soft... and served right to you. Mmmmmm. If I was a millionaire- and i will be- I'd get a soft serve ice cream machine.

The other night, I flew to New York on a plane- obviously. I was pretty much a wreck by the time I actually got to the airport. I was about to throw up and wet my pants at the same time. I was sure that I was going to get lost, not get to my terminal on time, miss the plane and then of course, inevitably, die. It always ends up that way in my mind. Luckily it didn't literally end up that way. The ride over to the airport was almost worse than actually riding the plane. I looked at the clock, right before flying to NY, and saw that it was 9:11. Of course right before a flight I had to look at the clock right then. I couldn't have had worse timing.

I took some medicine right before I went on the plane. I asked mom if I could take antihistemigne (sp?) and dramamine (sp?). She said they'd have to haul me onto the plane if I did. Unfortunately I decided to take the antihistemigne. So, first off, I was already tired, then it made me more tired, my head was fine, but I felt super nauseaus. I think the guy next to me thought I was having a siezure or something. Whenever I take that medicine, I get really bad RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome), so I couldn't stop moving, then I was half asleep, so I wasn't exactly being graceful. Then finally I figured that part of my squirming was because I needed to go to the bathroom. I tried to make myself hold it, but I couldn't. I resigned myself to going to the bathroom. I thought flying in a buckled seat was bad. Imediately when I got into the bathroom the muscles in my lets started to seize up. I literally felt like any second, the ground around me would crack away, and I was going to fall out of the sky. I tried to comfort myself by saying that if I did fall, at least I could do some sweet tricks while skydiving, and upon impact, I would die instantly, so I wouldn't feel any pain. Fortunately, I didn't fall, and returned to the seat where, the guy next to me probably wished I had fallen so he wouldn't be so wierded out at my freakish seizures. Oh, did I forget mention my sleep talking, or waking up multiple times with my mouth hanging wide open?

So, when I arrived at Deon's house yesterday- was it really yesterday? the past two days have seemed to mesh into one because I'm so off schedule- I went to sleep. I didn't even eat breakfast, which for me was... well something. Anyway, so I went to bed at 7 am, and Deon woke me up at 5pm, to see if I wanted to go swimming. That's more sleep than I get on a regular night.

Last night I had a dream. This boy, let's call him Kyle, that I really like, asked me out- remember, this is a dream. So I was pretty much ecstatic. He asked if I wanted to go to this new water park, or get a soda. I told him that I would buy the soda, if he'd pay for the water park. Then I heard him saying to someone that he was just asking me out becuase he knew I liked him and I needed to learn how to talk to boys or something like that. So, needless to say, though i am going to, I was crushed. I told him he didn't need to take me, but he just said he'd take me, and by the time I found someone, he'd be long gone. So, then I went home to change. Mom and Deon were there. I told them what he said, and how crushed I was. Mom said it was nice that he was still taking me. Deon, while I was busy being devastated, was busy playing a new video game, which she couldn't take her eyes off of, and kept exclaiming things like "I just gave that lady a gift!". One of the worst dreams ever.

So, this is Catherine, signing off.

Which brings me to my next subject...

Pulling Teeth.

Getting my friends to write e-mails is like pulling teeth... wisdome teeth... the kind that you have to break their teeth and cut open thier mouth just to get out. Impacted. That's it. Getting my friends to write me is like pulling impacted teeth right out of thier skull. Seriously.

Robbed.

So the other day I walked into my room and thought "Oh no! I've been robbed!" Then I looked more closely and realized that it was just because I hadn't picked up my room. Basically it was the same as always.

I'll admit the picture doesn't really go with this segment, but I couldn't find a plain burlap bag. So either you get coffee beans or kids jumping around in the sack during a sack race. I figured it was easier to imagine that the beans were like gold pieces... because I have a ton of those sitting around my room.

What gets to me more than the fact that I can't find a picture of a plain burlap sack, is that this picture has a decal over it, like someone was going to go and reproduce it and say they took the picture. It's a SACK OF COFFEE BEANS. I promise, I did not take this picture, and take no credit for it.

Children's Programming.

Basically, kid's shows are just teaching children that people are always going to wait like FIVE MINUTES for an answer. I can't stand them. It's like "Hey, let's make THE most annoying characters, so that adults who have to watch this show with thier kids go CRAZY."

3 Musketeers.

Ok, so this photo shows 4 musketeers, but I figure the nancy boy in the blue is probably Dartanion (sp?). Anyway, I was thinking, shouldn't the 3 musketeers have muskets? Shouldn't they be called the 3 sword-cateers if they are going to sword fight? It just doesn't make sense. I guess they didn't have muskets back then- or did they?- but still they shouldn't have named the musket what they did. It just confuses those who like to spend time thinking about it.

Cup theory.

You know those cup holders at fast food places for more than one drink? I think that instead of plates, people should just use cups. That way, none of your food get's mixed together, and your food isn't going to slide off the edge if you are being reckless. The person who took this picture knew what I was talking about.

Beverages.

Which brings me to my next topic: beverages. I like soy milk. I don't know why. All the signs tell me that I shouldn't. For instance, it's made of soy. Isn't tofu made of soy? That should tip me off right there, yet it's so delicious I can hardly resist. I don't like regular milk, so it's a good thing soy milk is "calcium fortified". Dodged a bullet there.

Love- hate relationships.

I have been discovering some of my own personal love-hate relationships.
First off: movies. Nothing happens in real life like in the movies. It stinks. You think "Cool. I wish that would happen to me." Well, get over it, and get a reality check, because I am here to guarantee you that it will never happen that way.

So, I love movies, because they are entertaining, but I hate them because I realize it won't happen, and I've been given false hope. This doesn't apply to all movies however, for instance, action movies are fun to watch, but you don't want to be in thier situation, so they are just a love- love situation.
Books are even worse. It's the same story. Ha ha. Well, not literally, but they also give false hope. Puh huh. Then there's the fact that if it's a series, you may love the book, but you hate the wait for the next book. So that parts not actually the book's fault... it's the authors.
















Roundabout.

I hate roundabouts. If I was allowed to swear, it would be in a roundabout... at the people who don't know how to use them.







Knight.

Have you ever had a phrase that you really wanted to use, but knew you'd probably never have a chance to use it? Mine is:
"Thou Recreant Knight!" I don't know exactly how anyone would use it actually, becuase it's a sentance fragment, but I really want to just yell it at someone, preferably a man on a horse... who is wearing armor.




The Squire's Tale:

Which brings me to my next subject. This is a good book. I promote it whole-heartedly, and all of it's sequels. Though, it may be hard to remember the whole title of these books, with titles like "The Squire, His Knight and His Lady", and the longest, "The Princess, the Crone and the Dung-Cart Knight". They are worth it though.










Which brings me to my last subject. I have decided who the perfect guy is, and I'll tell you.
His name is Jasedterlinfiyeris. You see, he is a combination of the following:
Jasper from Twilight, for his charm and because he's just cool.
Edward, from Twilight, for his good looks, and... well everything else.
Terence from "The Squire, His Knight and His lady" because he's hilarious.
Gaheris from "The Savage Damsel and the Dwarf" becuase he's protective.
Fiyero from "Wicked" because he's accepting.
Link Larkin from "Hairspray" because duh, he can sing.

Gee Wiz.

Dissapointment.

So, there is a Harry Potter 6 teaser trailer out. Don't go rushing to your nearest search engine though. It was a major dissapointment. It is 22 seconds of dumb...ness. I'll tell it to you play by play. First it has like 6 or 7 seconds of the "this preview has been approved for all audiences". Then there was Dumbledore's voice saying something like "Once again Harry, I have to ask to much of you." Then there was the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince logo. Then it ended. No pictures, no other voices, nothing. Pathetic. I couldn't believe it.

Oh and P.S. Dumbledore isn't gay. JK Rowling doesn't know what the HECK she is talking about.

Extra.

"Extra" gum is gross. So, that's added to my list of gross gum.

Fair.

So, we went to the county fair tonight. It was... gross. In other words, I dislike animals... immensly. Though I have wanted to learn to ride a horse... or tapdance.

Remakes.

We are watching Disney Channel right now. There is a girl singing "That's How You Know" completely different from the original. That came out what, like 7 months ago? They already made a remake of that song! I mean come on. Remakes are just ways of avoiding creativity. Or hiding the fact that you don't have any. Tut tut. What is this world coming to?

Go Meat.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard the commercial for Hillshire Farms. The one that starts out "Go meat!". Oh buddy. So now I have that, then the Mickey Mouse Club House theme song, and the "Yeah Boy" Dr. Pepper commercial stuck in my head constantly. Not to mention "SchoolHouse Rock" songs galore. Interplanet Janet, and the number 8 song mostly. Those are two of my favorites.

Battery.

The battery light on my computer is on constantly now. Orange. Flashing. It's Maddening!

Disney Channel.

They have really let the quality of disney Channel go down. What happened to good shows like "Even Stevens" or... I'm sure there was another one. "Phil of the Future" was pretty good, but it didn't last long. The best one on Disney Channel now is "Wizards of Waverly Place". And half the time I can't even take that one.

Superheroes, and other, not so super people.

And finally, what's with those superheroes that think they can get away wearing glasses, or a little tiny mask? For instance:

Mr. Incredible

Superman

Hannah Montana, though she can't possibly be considered a superhero. Maybe I should have said people with aliases.

I mean, come on you just have to look at thier face, and then you'll be able to tell who they are. And what about the fact that people would be following them all the time. How do they get home without being seen? SO unrealistic. I guess I mostly talked about this because of Hannah Montana. Probably because she bugs me... a lot.